Vegetarian Jokes

1994 Age 13 : Somewhere over the Bay of Bengal

“I am sorry sir there is no vegetarian left”, said the aging air hostess onboard a flight from Chennai to Port Blair. She then thrust an assortment at me which I meekly accepted. This was an early indication, that life as a vegetarian was far from easy. This was also accompanied by the disappointment since it was my first time onboard a plane and my expectations were shattered. (The airhostess wasn’t anything to look at either)

 2006 Age 25: Farther away on Bay of  Bengal

“Sorry sir, the vegetarian has finished can I get you something else”, said the Air Steward onboard the Thai International Flight from Bangkok to Hyderabad. The ambience was more pleasant now and the face more smiling. However it was all too familiar and I was more prepared. I did not accept the assortment and requested for the suggestion performa. Things changed drastically and I was treated like a business class traveler.  I left after gorging on the first class menu, with a special gift and the whole crew going “Swadee kha” (Thai namaste).

I have been a vegetarian for over a quarter of a century, that is to say my whole life. My reasons of being a vegetarian over the years have changed. What started from being more of religion requisite later on became a thing of absolute choice. I was a vegetarian because I never ever felt the need otherwise. This decision of mine has never caused me any problems until I cross Indian boundaries. What struck me, as amazing at most of these places, was that vegetarianism as a concept did not exist. People did not understand being a vegetarian. My experiences at such places have been interesting if that could aptly describe it. For example during my cadet phase I had the opportunity of visiting Europe as part of the Lokayan 04-05. It was a culinary disaster. After the buffet breakfast which included an assortment of fresh fruit, juices etc I had to survive the day on only two things ice-cream and coke. There wasn’t any other way. This happened both in Greece and Italy. Had it not been an Italian girl I befriended I would have gone from Italy without savoring the Pizza (She got me a custom made vegetarian).

Post matrimony while visiting  Thailand, I  only had vegetable soup and rice where my wife was enjoying unending variety of the sea food delicacy. The restaurant we use to visit stopped even asking me what I would like to eat. The waitress just used to smile and tell me, “Vegetable Soup”. You might wonder why I didn’t change the restaurant. Well it was simple there wasn’t anyone else offering Vegetarian Food!

However in the ever hospitable Bangladesh (I had gone for a course) a particular incident topped it all. The culinary delights in this country range only within a non-vegetarian realm (main course) and a social gathering means lots and lots of different kinds of non-veg dishes. As I attended one of them I was assured by the Mess-Sec that he had something for me. It turned out to be a delicious vegetable Biryani and a mixed-vegetable dish. It was kept at the end of the table and made only for me. As dinner started there was a line and being a junior officer I didn’t join the line as there was a considerable number of the senior officers. After a little while however the Mess-Sec came to me and told me to take something “Fast”. I was about to realize why.

 Well it turned out that the gathering had a taken a liking for the Biryani and the other dish marked for me. It was fast diminishing and the Mess sec had to literally stop other officers from taking anything from there. It was embarrassing and I quickly I took a little. As I was having my rather pleasant meal, I realized that the poor Mess-Sec was almost standing on top of the dish and warding off the advances of anyone approaching. The officers being fended off were giving him the looks and grudgingly moving away. He didn’t budge and continued that till I took my second refill (I didn’t finish off the first helping) and informed him that I wouldn’t take anymore. It was quite a sight to see the Mess Sec standing on top of the dining table and fencing off determined men, exchanging grudges in return.

There have been stranger and unpleasant things at times however this time it was a little embarrassing and mostly amusing. As I attended gatherings later on things had changed for the better. I am sure that the Mess- Sec had done something more appropriate not for me but for his own sake. Things haven’t changed much since and an across the borders trip always leaves me a bit miffed; the only upside that I loose some weight in the process.